


Finding Home

by LittleWhiteTie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Nightmares, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sickfic, so much hurt comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-28 14:32:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8450041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleWhiteTie/pseuds/LittleWhiteTie
Summary: Shiro has hands that are his to hold.After suffering a concussion and nearly drowning, Shiro falls ill. From the jungle to caves to cities and space, through fighting the Galra and seeking a cure, Keith and Allura are with him through it all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I live for Shiro-centric hurt/comfort.

It’s a contented silence that settles over the three of them as Shiro, Keith, and Allura make their way through the jungle. The air is hot and muggy; the jungle floor, filled with rocks and roots, is cumbersome to traverse; and it’s not particularly pretty, all drab browns and greens, the river cutting through dark and murky. But their spirits are still running high. It’s not everyday that they can say their mission went off without a hitch, exactly according to plan.

 

The Galra had been developing a powerful bioweapon at a facility deep in a jungle on the planet Tryoph. It was originally supposed to be a team mission with all five paladins, but just before they were set to head out, they had received a distress signal from another planet, Rieb, just a few star systems over. The power generators were down across the small planet, and patients at the hospitals were dying. So Shiro had sent Hunk and Pidge to try to get the generators back up and running, with Lance there to keep an eye out and watch their backs as they worked. Shiro didn’t _think_ it was a trap, but he’d learned they could never be too careful.

 

So they’d adapted their plan, Allura joining Keith and Shiro in place of Pidge, Hunk, and Lance. It ended up working out brilliantly, with Allura in disguise to determine the bioweapon’s location, Shiro gaining access to the weapon with his arm, and Keith creating a distraction while they disposed of it. Sure, Shiro’s a bit sore and bruised after taking a couple hits, but he’ll manage; the important thing is that the bioweapon has been destroyed and Allura and Keith are unharmed. They got in and out of the facility without being seen. Now it’s just a matter of navigating through the jungle back to their pod, located out of sight of the facility and on terrain they could land on.

 

The jungle is loud, filled with rustling and the sounds of insects calling for their mates, but in the midst of it, there’s a deep, unsettling noise that causes Shiro to stiffen. It’s only there for a moment, and he’s beginning to think he just imagined it, but then, without warning, he’s lifted up and being held in mid-air - thick, ropy tentacles coming from the river are wrapped tightly around him. And then, just as fast, he’s slammed into the ground with tremendous force, driving him headfirst into hard rock. His head and shoulder explode with pain and his vision goes black.

 

-v-V-v-

 

He’s not unconscious for long, but when he comes to, he’s greeted by the awful sensation of water filling his lungs.

 

He’s drowning, and it’s the most inconvenient time for a flashback, but it comes. All over again he’s being tortured by the druids under the guise of interrogation, waterboarded. Darkness and bound limbs; water filling his nose and mouth; choking, gagging, acid burning his throat; excruciating pain; he  _can't breathe_. They ask him something he doesn’t know the answer to, and over and over again he drowns with no end in sight.

 

He involuntarily gasps when he snaps out of it, only to inhale more water. His lungs burn. His helmet’s been shattered – that explains the water inside. He can’t see well through the murky water and he’s having trouble focusing, but he can see the dark, vine-like tentacles still wrapped around his body, and he’s pretty sure the glowing red lights he sees are eyes.

 

He tries to focus his blurry vision, and he can make out two shapes in the cloudy water. He realizes with a start that it’s Keith and Allura, also trapped underwater by the creature. He activates his Galra arm but his hand doesn’t make contact with anything but his suit; his arms are pinned tightly to his sides. He tries in vain to break free, but struggling only makes it worse, using up the last of his precious oxygen.

 

His head is spinning, and trying not to inhale is getting near impossible. His vision is fading, but in his periphery, he can see one of the shapes getting closer. Faint turquoise lights against white, black, and red. Keith.

 

Keith’s blurry form hacks away at the tentacles with his sword, dark green blood blooming in clouds around him. Shiro feels the strong grip around him slacken and fall away. He’s free, but he starts to sink.

 

After the blow to his shoulder, he can barely move his right arm. Swimming is impossible. The metal prosthesis is dead weight, an anchor. It weighs him down in more ways than one, and now it physically drags him down into the depths.

 

He’s sinking fast and sunlight is getting further and further away, but Keith doesn’t follow. _Keith?_ It’s getting dark now, and the last thing he sees before his vision fades and his lungs fill with water once more is the image of Keith swimming away.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Shiro comes to, gagging and coughing up water. His lungs positively burn as they’re met with air. Everything hurts. He gasps for breath with ragged inhales and choked exhales, retching as he expels water from his lungs.

 

There’s noise buzzing in his pounding head, and eventually it starts to come into focus. Voices. Allura’s and Keith’s. He opens his eyes.

 

“Shiro? Oh, thank goodness!” Allura says, her crystal blue eyes brimming with tears.

 

“We almost lost you,” Keith says. His voice sounds raw.

 

Shiro tries to speak, to reassure them, but he can’t stop coughing for long enough to get any words out.

 

“Hush,” Allura says softly. “Just focus on breathing.”

 

Allura’s touching his left arm and Keith’s right beside her clutching his hand, and he’s grateful, so grateful, that they’re safe. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he rasps when he can finally catch his breath.

 

Keith snorts. “Us? You’re the one who got attacked by that thing and nearly drowned.”

 

He can’t think straight, but that sounds right. That, and then he was sinking, and then… His voice is weak and hoarse when he speaks. “How… how did…”

 

“After that creature took you into the river, we went in after it,” Allura says, the word _creature_ spoken with utter disdain. “It had… far too many tentacles,” she continues, disturbed, “and it managed to grab us too. But Keith was able to free himself with his bayard, and once he was able to, he cut away the tentacles that were holding onto you. When you started to sink, though, he came over to help me get free.”

 

Keith grips his hand tighter. “I… I didn’t want to leave you, but I had to. I couldn’t get you to the surface by myself,” he says, his eyes flickering to Shiro’s heavy metal arm. He sounds remorseful.

 

“No, you… you did good,” Shiro manages. He’s proud of Keith for being able to stay pragmatic and use his head in this situation. It’s more than he can say he did.

 

“You weren’t breathing,” Keith says, anxiety lingering in his voice. “Allura had to resuscitate you.” There isn’t much of Shiro that doesn’t hurt, but he can make out the sharp pain of what’s probably a cracked rib from the CPR. 

 

“Thank you both. For saving me,” Shiro says. He’d been very close to death, and he certainly wouldn’t have made it without them.

 

He winces as he tries to sit up. He definitely has a concussion. He has a killer headache and he's really dizzy, the colours of the jungle swirling together in a confusing mess. But they need to get moving. That creature, or others like it, could attack again.

 

Shiro takes a few moments before standing up. As soon as he gets to his feet, though, the ground tilts and his stomach lurches, and he falls forward to his hands and knees and throws up. Pain reverberates through his shoulder as his open palm hits the ground, his sore throat burns as he expels the contents of his stomach, and his aching ribs and raw lungs hurt as he gasps for air.

 

He tries to sit back and Keith steadies him as he pants for breath, shaking. “I’ve got you,” Keith says, holding on.

 

They wait for Shiro to catch his breath. “How are you feeling?” Allura asks after a few minutes, concerned.

 

 _Absolutely awful_ , he doesn’t say. “I’ve… been better,” he rasps out. “But I’ll be fine. Let’s get going.” He leans on Keith and gets to his feet again; Keith holds him up when he sways.

 

“Allura,” Keith says, looking at her for assistance, and she’s at Shiro's side in an instant, supporting him. They drape Shiro’s good arm across her shoulders – she’s the stronger of the two. Keith stays diligently at Shiro’s right side, his hand at his back, carefully avoiding his shoulder.

 

Walking is a lot harder than it should be, the world not making sense to his eyes and his balance completely thrown. He stumbles over protruding roots and jutting stone, but Allura holds tight and ensures he doesn’t fall as they make their way back to the pod.

 

The more subdued members of Team Voltron stay quiet throughout their trek, and Shiro appreciates it. He doesn’t want to have to speak or listen – his throat hurts and he can’t think straight – and the sounds of the jungle are already far too much for his splitting headache.

 

It’s a rough couple of hours. Twice he has to ask them to stop as he throws up again. It’s stiflingly hot out and he’s pretty sure he’s dehydrated, making him even dizzier and more nauseated. It’s a vicious cycle.

 

By the time they make it back to the pod, spots are dancing in his eyes and he’s barely staying conscious. Keith takes the wheel, and as steady as Keith’s flying is, the movement still makes his stomach roil. When they land in the hangar Allura helps him out of his seat, but he sways when he stands again, and this time his vision fades and he passes out.

 

-v-V-v-

 

When Shiro emerges from unconsciousness for the second time that day, he’s freezing cold and exhausted. He falls forward out of the cryopod and into Keith’s arms.

  
“Hey,” Keith says softly.

 

“Hey,” he returns, and he marvels that his throat doesn’t hurt when he speaks.

 

“How’re you feeling?” Keith asks.

 

“Much better,” Shiro says, and it’s the truth. His lungs don’t burn, his shoulder doesn’t throb, his ribs don’t ache, and the pounding in his head has subsided. He’s a bit lightheaded, but not like before.

 

He’s completely drained, though, and it shows. Allura notes as much when she and Coran come over. “Go get some rest,” Allura commands, and he’s too tired not to comply. He nods.

 

“But before you do that, drink this!” Coran says, pressing a tall glass of… something… into his hands. “It’s an oral rehydration solution,” he explains. “You’ve got to restore your electrolytes; you’re quite dehydrated.”

 

Shiro hesitates, staring at the bright magenta contents of the glass. It’s viscous and strangely opaque.

 

“It’s delicious!” Coran says, waggling his eyebrows.

 

Shiro braces himself and downs the drink. It’s decidedly _not_ delicious, but he manages to keep it down.

 

“Thank you. All of you,” he says, bidding them goodnight. He stops by the bathroom to rinse his mouth out, washing away the acid and the aftertaste of the pink solution. Then, not even bothering to change, he falls into bed and passes out.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Shiro wakes still feeling exhausted. He glances at his clock, set to Castle Time, and he realizes he’s slept for over thirteen hours – more than thrice what he usually gets these days. Still, it feels like he hasn’t slept at all.

 

He feels weak, so weak he can barely get out of bed. His head hurts. He aches all over and his limbs are like lead. When he’s finally able to push himself up, he instantly feels nauseated as the room spins around him.

 

He’s confused. This is wrong. He was feeling better before he went to bed - he was healed from the incident earlier. But no _, this isn’t the same_ , he recognizes as a pyrexic chill passes through him. His skin feels flushed and warm, too warm.

 

 _The water_ , he realizes. There could have been something in the water. The muddy, cloudy river water he’d swallowed copious amounts of yesterday.

 

The cryopods were indiscriminate, built to heal all forms of life. All life including any microorganisms he’d ingested. He wonders about all the things that might have been in that water, and the thought turns his stomach.

 

He should probably have Coran scan him. That’s what a responsible leader would do. A responsible leader wouldn’t hide just because medical equipment reminds him of… _No._ No, he’ll do it. … _Just after a short nap,_ he tells himself, and he falls back asleep.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Shiro wakes to the sound of knocking at his door. It’s too loud; his head feels like it’s being split open. He needs it to stop, so he pushes himself to his feet. He tries to blink away his double vision and force down the nausea as he staggers to the door.

 

“Shiro? It’s mid-afternoon, and-“ Allura pauses, taking in the sight of him. “Are you alright?”

 

“Mostly just tired,” he says, and it’s not a total lie – he feels the exhaustion more than anything else.

 

Her eyes rove over him and she doesn’t look entirely convinced, but she lets it go. “You should really eat something,” she says.

 

“Sure,” he says, though he doesn’t feel like eating and has no actual intention of doing so. “I’ll head to the kitchen in a bit.”

 

“Alright.” She rests a hand on his arm, the metal one that doesn't betray his temperature. “Let me know if you need anything.” He nods, thanking her. As soon as she leaves, he stumbles back to bed.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Shiro wakes later that evening, and as much as he wants to stay in bed, he can’t ignore his need to use the bathroom any longer. The bathroom seems impossibly far away, and he needs to cling to the wall to get there. It takes an age and a half for him to get down the hallway, but he makes it there on unsteady legs.

 

On his way back to his room, though, his legs give out and he sinks to the floor – just as Keith rounds the corner.

 

“Shiro!” Keith is at his side in an instant and wraps an arm around him. Feeling the heat radiating through Shiro's shirt, he presses a hand to his too-warm forehead. His features shift into a scowl. “You told Allura you were just tired.”

 

“I said _mostly_ ,” Shiro says mildly, but Keith isn’t impressed. He pulls Shiro to his feet, and then drags him in the opposite direction. Towards the med bay. “Come on. We’re getting you checked out.”

 

Shiro wants to protest, but he knows he should go and he'd insist upon it if it were any of the other paladins, so he sighs and says, “Okay.”

 

Keith helps him to the med bay and tells him to wait, sitting him on a table. Shiro rests his eyes, exhausted, and is nearly asleep by the time he comes back with Coran.

 

Coran guides him to some kind of scanner and Shiro is brought back to alertness, stiffening as Coran tells him to lie down on the cold, metal surface underneath. He doesn’t want to be here, he _really_ doesn’t want to be here.

 

Coran senses his discomfort, so he distracts him as he completes the scan, updating him on Hunk, Lance, and Pidge’s end. They’ve been enjoying themselves staying at the Rieban palace while they work on the power issue. Pidge and Hunk have determined the problem – there’s a virus interfering with the generators’ functioning that seems to have spread planet-wide. They’re currently working on getting the generators back up and running. Once they’re done with that, they’re going to look into the source of the problem - it seems to have been intentionally installed, and they need to make sure that this won’t happen again. Shiro’s not sure he likes the idea of just the three of them snooping around – whoever’s behind it could be dangerous. But Coran assures him that they’re continually checking in with him, and besides, they’re very capable. Shiro agrees. He has to have faith in them.

 

Soon, the scan is done, and the results show the scanner has detected a parasite in Shiro’s body. The thought makes Shiro’s skin crawl – it’s not as if bacteria or viruses are much better, they’re just as capable of making him sick, but the idea of parasites invading his body is particularly disturbing. He’s relieved to find, though, that the parasite isn't readily transmitted from person to person. It’s not contagious; the others will be safe around him.

 

There isn’t much data available on the organism, and there’s nothing in the database about treatment. The physiology of the dominant species on Tryoph is quite similar to that of humans, though. “I’m gonna go back to Tryoph,” Keith says. “I’ll ask the locals for the cure.”

 

“Even if they have one,” Shiro points out, “they might not give it over so easily, and we don’t know if it’ll work on humans.”

 

“Then we’ll just have to ask nicely,” Allura says, stepping into the doorway, “And we’ll figure something out.” She turns to Shiro. “Rest up, Shiro. Keith and I will be back before you know it.”

 

Keith squeezes Shiro’s shoulder, silently telling him to hang in there. Then he nods at Allura, and the two exchange a look of steely determination before heading out.


	2. Chapter 2

Shiro spends most of his time asleep, drifting in and out of confusing fever dreams. They’re muddled and don’t make much sense, but the fear and pain and loneliness are unmistakable. A small part of him wishes one of the others were here with him to help remind him what’s real and what’s not, but no, what they’re doing is far more important. Pidge and Lance and Hunk are busy saving lives and Coran is busy assisting them; Keith and Allura are down on Tryoph trying to find a cure for him, which is already more than he can ask for.

 

Coran had left him with a tray that held a bowl of some sort of food and a glass filled with some sort of drink – “good for the immune system,” he'd said before heading back to the bridge to help the others. Shiro doesn’t have much of an appetite, but he knows he hasn’t eaten since early yesterday morning so he tries to take a few bites. Soon, though, he’s staggering to the bathroom; he can’t keep any of it down.

 

Slowly, Shiro makes his way back to his room. The empty halls of the Castle are unnerving. His shuffling footsteps echo too loudly, each step a reminder that he's alone. It reminds him of the time the Castle turned on them, and panic sweeps over him when he hears Sendak’s voice, loud and clear.

 

_Defeated. Broken. Monster._

 

Horrible words repeat over and over, and Shiro tries to tell himself that they aren’t true, it’s just the fever, _this isn’t real_ , but he can’t make it stop.

 

_Do you really think a monster like you could be a Voltron paladin?_

 

He’s shaking horribly by the time he makes it back to his room. He drops back to his bed, but he can’t find sleep. He lies there shivering, wide awake.

 

_He’s already defeated you._

 

-v-V-v-

 

Keith watches Allura as she gets friendly with the locals, introducing herself and exchanging pleasantries with practiced charm and grace. He stands off to the side, not wanting to compromise her progress with his lack of social skills. He’s impatient, but they need that cure and he knows that diplomacy is their best shot at getting it, so he tries his best to fix his face into a reasonably polite expression and waits.

 

The city isn’t all that far from the jungle they were in, but despite its proximity it’s vastly different. It’s far from organic, made up of smooth surfaces and harsh edges, the colour palette dominated by onyx black and gunmetal grey. The buildings are tall and spiky, metal spires that shoot up into the sky, and they block all greenery from view. It’s impressive and a little eerie.

 

The citizens wandering the streets look like tall, willowy humans, save for their bluish skin and ruby eyes. Their words are few and far between and they’re largely stoic, but Allura seems to be able to connect with them all the same. Though their faces betray little emotion, he can see the curiosity in their eyes when they look at either of them. Allura had told him on their way there that, according to the information she could find, the Tryophians value learning and knowledge above all else. They’re nowhere near as advanced as the Altean race was, but their knowledge is impressive for being such a young species, having only been around a few thousand years. Hopefully their desire to learn about another species will motivate them to help.

 

After a little while, Allura comes over to Keith, and unlike the Tryophians, her emotions are clear on her face, and optimism shimmers in her eyes. She tells him she’s been connected with both a reputable pharmacologist and an expert at the local university who studies alien physiology. Together, they may be able to figure out how to help Shiro. Keith lets himself return the smile – while it’s not a guarantee, at least there’s a chance.

 

The two of them split up, Allura heading to the hospital to meet with the pharmacologist and Keith seeking out the researcher at the university. Keith’s a little worried – diplomacy is not his strong suit – but Allura assures him he’ll be fine.

 

The institution is intimidating, a towering pitch-black structure with few windows. He makes his way to the researcher’s office, located on the thirty-third floor of the western-most tower, trying to ignore all the crimson-eyed stares he gets on his way there. They’ve obviously never seen a human before.

 

He’s  a little out of breath by the time he reaches the office, and he does his best to compose himself before he knocks and enters. As soon as the researcher sees him, his red eyes light up. A new specimen! Keith tries his best to hide his discomfort and launches into a prepared speech, but it turns out it doesn’t matter. Social skills or not, the researcher is _absolutely_ interested in the opportunity to study a human. Keith’s not sure he likes the amount of enthusiasm in the researcher’s voice, but whatever – as long as he can help Shiro get better, it’s fine.

 

He connects with Allura, and they’re in luck – there is a known Tryophian treatment for the parasite, and she’s persuaded the pharmacologist to help. They set up a meeting between the Tryophians and Coran to determine whether or not Shiro will be compatible with the treatment. Allura will stay in the city to facilitate the meeting, but she tells Keith to head back to the Castle – someone should be there with Shiro. Keith doesn’t protest, all too happy to be out of there, and besides, he’s worried about Shiro.

 

Keith's worry isn’t unfounded. When he arrives back at the Castle and goes to Shiro’s room to check on him, he finds Shiro sweating and shaking, delirious and afraid. Keith’s at his side in an instant, sitting down beside him and resting a hand on his shoulder. He can feel him trembling.

 

“Hey,” Keith says. “Shiro. You okay?” He’s obviously not, but Keith doesn’t know what else to say. He wishes he were better at this sort of thing. He wishes one of the others were here to help him out.

 

Shiro’s attention turns to him, eyes wide. “F-fine,” he stammers. “I’m fine.”

 

Keith frowns. “Do you know where we are?”

 

“C-Castle,” he says. And then, almost inaudibly, he mumbles something about Sendak.

 

“Sendak? Sendak’s gone,” Keith says, letting his weight drop against him. He’s uncomfortably warm, but Keith doesn’t shy away.

 

Shiro looks down at his metal arm. “H-he was right,” Shiro says quietly. “I am…”

 

“You are what?” Keith asks when Shiro trails off, but Shiro shakes his head and doesn’t continue.

 

Keith doesn’t know how to respond, so he shifts gears. “Have you eaten anything?”

 

Shiro shakes his head, but before Keith opens his mouth to insist, he mumbles, “Tried. Can’t.”

 

Keith frowns. “Okay, well you should at least drink something.” He goes to retrieve the glass full of liquid on the tray by his door, but Shiro shakes his head again. Keith has to admit it doesn’t look the most appetizing, purple and gloopy. “Water, then. I’m gonna go get you some water. Stay right here.”

 

“Not going anywhere,” he murmurs.

 

By the time Keith comes back, Shiro’s a bit calmer, though he seems exhausted. He sidles up beside him and presses the glass into his hands. Shiro’s hands still shake a bit, but he manages to take a few sips before handing it back to Keith.

 

“Lie down,” Keith says. “Get some rest.” He sets the glass down and takes his human hand in his. “I’ll be right here. Promise.”

 

Though Shiro doesn’t mean to let it show, relief slides over his face. “Thanks, Keith,” he says. He closes his eyes and his trembling subsides.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Shiro wakes to the sound of hushed voices, warm and familiar. They slowly come into focus.

 

“He’s been asleep this whole time.”

 

A cool hand comes to rest on his forehead. “Goodness, he’s warm.”

 

“Think he’ll be up for this?”

 

“He’ll have to be. But he’ll be alright. He’s strong, and we’ll be there.”

 

He stirs and struggles to open his eyes.

 

“Shiro.” Cool fingertips graze his cheek. “How are you feeling?” Allura asks softly.

 

“Fine,” he says automatically. His voice sounds weak. “I’m fine,” he tries again, sitting up. He tries very hard not to fall back when the room spins.

 

“Uh huh,” says Keith, and Shiro doesn’t have to look at him to see the scepticism on his face.

 

“Shiro, there may be a cure for your illness, but we don’t know if it will work yet,” Allura says slowly, her voice rhythmic and soothing. “We’re going to bring you to the hospital so they can run some tests first, alright?”

 

 _Tests._ His eyes go wide, his breath catching.

 

There’s a firm hand on his shoulder. “It’s safe. We’ll be right there with you,” Keith says.

 

He’s frozen, clutching at the blankets. Allura places a hand over his. “You want to get better, don’t you?”

 

He nods stiffly. He does. The last time he was sick…

 

The memory comes unbidden. _He’s in the arena. His infected arm throbs, swollen and red, and his blood runs far too hot. He can barely lift his head, let alone fight. He can’t see straight. His opponent charges him and strikes, slicing at his ribs, his side, his chest. His vision goes from blurry to dark, but just before she delivers the finishing blow, his sword finds flesh and sinks deep into her abdomen. In his double vision he sees blood pouring from her lips, and he hears her take one last gasping breath before going silent. And then he’s falling, unable to stay on his feet, and he sinks to the ground covered in her blood…_

 

“Shiro?”

 

He snaps out of his flashback, heart racing, breathing uneven. Keith’s hand is still on his shoulder; Allura’s fingers are still curled over his left hand. He focuses on that, letting them ground him.

 

“Okay,” he eventually chokes out. “We’ll go.”

 

-v-V-v-

 

“Breathe, Shiro,” Allura murmurs, her fingers laced in his.

 

But he can’t. Not here, not while these blue-skinned strangers pore over every inch of him as he lies on this cold, metal table. They touch his skin, prod and scan him with unfamiliar instruments…

 

Keith’s grip is too tight on his other hand. Shiro hadn't missed the looks Keith and Allura had exchanged when he'd stripped down to his underwear, their eyes horrified and brimming with anger at the sight of the scars adorning the entirety of his body.

 

“It’s alright,” Allura continues to croon, and he almost believes her until one of them approaches with a needle. He freezes and a whimper escapes his lips.

 

_The metal is frigid against his back and he struggles but he can’t move, arms and legs restrained. The druids inject something into his veins and then he’s writhing, every part of him on fire, screaming…_

 

“Focus on me. Focus on the sound of my voice,” Allura says, her thumb running over his metal knuckles. “You’re safe. You’re here with us.”

 

“Drawing blood now,” a stranger’s voice says.

 

There’s pressure on his left arm - Keith holding his arm down with surprising strength - and then something’s inserted into his skin, but it’s gone soon, and then it’s over.

 

“Just a few more tests-“

 

The Tryophian is cut off as a booming voice speaks overhead, echoing throughout the city. “Attention, citizens." Shiro's attention snaps to the small rectangular window in the room. Galra ships loom in the skies. "It has come to the attention of the Galra Empire that there has been a breach in laboratory facility RX-379. You have one thousand ticks to send forth those responsible, or we _will_ open fire. This is your only warning.” The transmission ends and Shiro’s blood runs cold. 

 

“We need to go,” Keith says, and before Shiro can make sense of what’s happening, Allura’s scooped him up into her arms and they’re sprinting back to the pod, speeding towards the Castle.

 

-v-V-v-

 

As soon as they reach the hangar, Keith races to the Red Lion to draw their fire.

 

Shiro starts making his way to the Black Lion’s hangar, trying to ignore the way the ground tilts around him, but Allura stops him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

 

 _Isn't it obvious?_ “The people down there are in danger, and Keith needs backup,” Shiro says.

 

“The castle-ship is providing support as we speak. Coran is manning the blasters,” she says. “You’re unwell, Shiro. You’re in no shape to go out there.”

 

“I need to try,” he says defiantly.

 

“You can barely walk! You’re a liability.” Her words are harsh, but she’s not wrong.

 

“I-“ He’s cut off by an explosion, and Keith cries out over the comm system.

 

“Keith! Are you alright?” they hear Coran’s voice shout frantically from the bridge.

 

_“I-I’m fine, but my Lion’s pretty badly damaged. I might be in trouble.”_

 

Shiro’s heading to the hangar before Allura can protest. He only makes it a few steps, though, before he stumbles. Allura catches him, her arms tight around him. “I have to go,” Shiro says firmly.

 

She meets his eyes. “Alright,” she concedes with a nod. “But I’m coming with you.”

 

She helps him to the Black Lion, deftly helping him into his armour, and they fly out together. Shiro sits at the front of the pilot’s seat with Allura settled in behind him, her chest pressed against his back and her thighs locked against his, the way two might fit together on a hoverbike. Her chin rests on his shoulder as she looks out from behind him, and her hands fit over his as she steadies him.

 

Shiro’s hands are at the controls and he’s the one directly connecting with Black, but Allura guides him, compensating for his slowed reaction time and double vision. She’s a good pilot, and he vaguely wonders why she’s not a paladin herself. Together, they fly the Black Lion, artfully ducking and weaving around Galra ships, drawing their fire, directing their attention away from the city and away from the Red Lion. He’s horribly dizzy, but he fights through it – the citizens below are depending on him, and Keith needs him.

 

It’s all kind of a blur, but they dodge and they fire, and eventually, with the support of the castle-ship and the Red Lion, they manage to destroy the fleet. A calm silence fills the sky.

 

“We did it!” Allura grins, squeezing his hands. He gives a small smile back.

 

When they land back in the Castle hangar, Allura helps him out of the Lion. He sways, adrenaline leaving him and struck by vertigo, but she catches him with ease and helps him to walk. When they get to the common area, Keith’s already there. His posture is tense.

 

“Keith, thank goodness you’re alright,” Shiro says as soon as he sees him. Keith looks at him with utter disbelief.

 

“You- what were you _thinking_?” Keith explodes.

 

Shiro shrugs. “I did what I had to.”

 

“You’re sick, Shiro!” he says, stating the obvious. He gestures to Allura, supporting him. “You can barely walk on your own!”

 

“Does everyone have to point that out?” he sighs. “Look. Allura was there with me. It was fine.”

 

“But you could have-“

 

“We won, and nobody was hurt,” Shiro interjects.

 

“But-“

 

“ _Please_ , Keith,” Shiro says, pinching the bridge of his nose. His head is throbbing and he feels sick to his stomach and he really can’t take much more.

 

Keith quiets down, but his fists clench and his gaze is cast downward. “You shouldn’t have been put in that position,” he says lowly, anger now cast inward. “I should have-“

 

Allura reaches out and touches Keith’s shoulder, as if to tell him, ‘that’s enough.’ “Keith. You did well, and so did Shiro. We had it under control. It was the right call,” Allura says.

 

Keith still looks unsatisfied. “You can’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same,” Shiro says, before taking off towards the bathroom.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Keith follows Shiro to find him leaning over the toilet, throwing up bile and the few sips of water he’d managed.

 

Shiro groans inwardly when the red paladin approaches. He really doesn’t want to deal with this right now.

 

Keith waits silently until he's finished and his panting subsides. Then he says from behind him, “You’re right. I would have done the same.” His voice is quiet. “It’s just… I can’t lose you again.”

 

Any exasperation or irritation he has dissipates at Keith’s words. He looks up. “Sorry if I worried you,” he says softly.

 

Keith's dark eyes close. "I'm just glad you're okay." He kneels down beside Shiro and gently presses a calloused hand to his forehead. “We should get you back to the hospital, finish up those tests.”

 

Shiro doesn’t think he can handle more tests right now. Not today. “Tomorrow?” he asks. He’s exhausted and needs sleep.

 

“Tomorrow,” Keith nods, extending a hand and helping him to his feet. He wraps an arm around him, letting him lean against him. “C’mon. Let’s get you to bed.”

 

Shiro's eyelids are heavy as Keith leads him to his room and helps him into bed. Keith goes to bring him water and tells him he’ll be right back, but Shiro’s asleep before he even leaves the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Shiro dreams of needles under his skin, of chemicals in his veins, of surgical steel. He wakes choking on a scream, panting for breath. Sweat drenches his skin.

 

“Shiro,” Allura’s voice soothes. “It’s alright. You’re safe. I’m here with you.”

 

She interlaces her right hand fingers with his left and strokes his hair, calming him down. Her touch might remind him of something that feels like home, if he knew what that was anymore.

 

“Can you sit up?” she asks after his breathing has evened out, and he gives a small nod. She helps him into a seated position, keeping a steady hand at his back to support him. She reaches for the water by his bed with her other hand – the water Keith must have brought. At some point in the night, Allura must have taken over looking after him so Keith could get some much needed rest.

 

She hands the glass to Shiro, keeping her fingers over his as he takes it, staying his shaky hand and guiding the glass to his lips. She takes it back and sets it down after a few sips when it’s apparent he’s not going to drink anymore.

 

Allura brushes back his sticky bangs, her hand resting against his forehead. “Your fever, it's gotten worse,” she says, her brows furrowing in concern. “You can’t be feeling well.”

 

He doesn’t refute it. He’s really not. He’s chilled from the fever and feels unreasonably sluggish; he’s dizzy and his head hurts; he’s incredibly weak and every muscle in his body aches.

 

“We should get you back to the hospital and finish up those tests.” He tenses and sucks in a sharp breath at the thought, panic flooding him all over again. The nightmare is too fresh in his mind. _Drugs and scalpels and needles and drills and…_

 

“I’m sorry,” she says, feeling his muscles lock up, his breaths quickening, his pulse racing. She wraps her arms around him and pulls him in, holding his body close against hers. “I know it’s hard. But it will be alright. I promise.”

 

-v-V-v-

 

The hospital is as daunting as ever, dim and sterile, metal and stone. They enter the elevator and go up and up and up. The lurch of the elevator as they reach the twenty-seventh floor does not help with Shiro’s nausea.

 

The sky through the small window in the room is an ominous red, the sun still rising over the city. It casts an eerie glow on all of the strange laboratory equipment in the otherwise dark room. His breathing is shallow, and he knows in the back of his mind that he should try to slow his breaths, stay calm, but he’s occupied with trying to stay vertical.

 

The Tryophian researcher, pharmacologist, and lab techs all meet them there, entering the room single file, their dark robes mirroring their sombre expressions. Their ruby eyes all fix on him, intense and unsettling.

 

Allura helps Shiro out of his clothes, and he tries not to notice the way she can’t stop staring at his scars or the way Keith tries to avoid looking at them entirely. He shivers as the cool air touches his bare skin.

 

“Lie down,” one of the techs gestures, and he obeys. His heart is pounding as they approach with strange instruments, hovering over him as he lies trembling on the table like a specimen to be vivisected _._  He feels as Keith’s hand, calloused and warm, grips his left hand, and Allura’s hand, delicate and cool, slips between his metal fingers. He squeezes his eyes shut and focuses on that, on them.

 

It doesn’t take long – most of the tests had been completed the day before. There’s nothing invasive this time, just scans and monitoring. And soon enough, it’s over.

 

The Tryophians are speaking. Their voices are hazy through his fever-addled and panic-stricken mind, but he gets the gist of what they’re saying. The treatment will likely be compatible with his makeup; there’s a good chance it will work.

 

He’s almost calmed down, but then they present a needle to inject him with the treatment and he starts to slip. The blue-skinned Tryophians morph into druids in his mind, the red of their eyes replaced with gleaming yellow. _No, no, no…_ “Druids,” he gasps. “N-no… can’t…” The rest of his words are lost, incoherent.

 

“Shiro, there aren’t any druids here,” Keith says slowly. “You’re on Tryoph, in the hospital, with me and Allura.” Shiro can’t reconcile the words with the rest of what he sees and hears, though, and the hallucination wins out.

 

He tries to get away. Allura and Keith squeeze tighter, their grips tightening on his hands. He tries to resist, the pressure feeling too much like the restraints that bound him, but he can’t escape. He’s weak, so weak, and they don’t let go. He’s trapped.

 

Keith holds his left arm down, and one of the druids comes forward, flicking the needle with her blue fingertips. “Please,” Shiro whispers, shaking, but they don’t let up. Pity and heartbreak shine in their eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, Shiro,” Allura says, her voice remorseful. “But I promise you, you’re safe. We’re safe.”

 

Keith’s grip tightens, and then metal is inserted into his skin. Shiro jolts, bracing himself for the pain to come, the fire to spread through his veins, the spasms to wrack his body. But there’s nothing. Just hands holding his.

 

The pressure on his hands has let up into something more comfortable. The hands aren't there to restrain him, but are there as a gesture of solidarity. He's not alone. His panic starts to subside.

 

“You should see the effects in a couple of days,” a foreign voice says. “He just needs rest until then.”

 

It’s over, and Keith and Allura are helping him up off the table, steadying him, helping him back into his clothing. Allura exchanges words with the Tryophians, gratitude apparent in her voice, and then the two of them are guiding him out of the room.

 

Before they reach the door, though, Keith halts abruptly, Shiro’s stomach lurching at the sudden stop. When Keith gestures to the window, his stomach twists with something else. The crimson sky is filled with Galra ships. Reinforcements.

 

“No…” Allura whispers.

 

A thunderous voice reverberates overhead, loud and unfriendly. It informs them that the Galra have reason to believe that the paladins of Voltron may be hiding in the city. It orders them to turn them over immediately, and states that any citizens caught harbouring the paladins will be killed.

 

“Of course. After that little showdown with the Lions yesterday…” Keith utters.

 

“We cannot wait. We need to leave the hospital now,” Allura says urgently.

 

“This way,” the Tryophian pharmacologist gestures, leading them out of the room and down the hall into an unused stairwell. Shiro’s eyes blur as he looks down at the stairs that seem to go on forever. Wordlessly, Allura crouches down and Keith helps Shiro onto her back. He hates feeling so weak, but he’s grateful for the unspoken assistance. Her arms tuck under his thighs, and then they’re racing down the stairs, too many flights to count.

 

At long last, they reach the end of the stairs, entering the barely lit subbasement. The Tryophian leads them to a small room. She reaches into a drawer and hands Allura a small emergency kit, and then she presses her hand against a stone in the wall. The wall opens up to reveal a small passageway that leads to a tunnel. She tells them that although she’s never been in it herself, it should eventually take them outside, away from the city.

 

As they stand in the passageway, Allura thanks her profusely. Shiro does his best to express his gratitude, and even Keith offers his thanks. She gives them a brief nod before the wall slides closed and the light leaves them completely.

 

Allura opens the emergency kit, rummaging through its contents until her fingers find a small portable light. She switches it on and holds the small orb in her palm. It reveals the rest of the items in the kit – a blanket, water pouches, and some freeze-dried food - and illuminates the stone of the cave system around them with a warm glow.

 

They make their way forward through the cave, slowly but steadily, Shiro leaning heavily on his companions. They're quiet, their footsteps echoing in the silence, speaking only when deciding which way to go.

 

They keep trekking for a while, but eventually, Shiro can’t keep going. He needs rest. His breathing has become laboured, too loud in the empty space, and he’s completely drained.

 

“Sorry,” he utters as he sinks to the cave floor. Keith gives him a withering glance, like he should know by now not to apologize for what isn’t his fault.

 

He can’t stop shivering, chills racking his febrile body. Keith and Allura settle down beside him, and Allura helps him to lie down. The ground is hard and cold, but she rests his head in her lap.

 

Keith retrieves the blanket from the kit and drapes it over Shiro. “Rest,” he says, and despite his shivering, Shiro is out almost instantly.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Shiro wakes in a panic – par for the course at this point. He’s scared, but Allura and Keith are there with him. He’s safe, he’s safe, he’s safe. Allura strokes his hair and Keith holds his hand, not letting go until his breathing evens out and his heart resumes a normal pace.

 

When he's calmed down, Allura guides him to a sitting position and Keith brings him a water pouch and a freeze-dried food bar. Shiro accepts the water, taking a couple slow sips, but he doesn’t take the food.

 

“You should eat something,” Keith says. “When’s the last time you ate?”

 

Shiro knows he should eat – his body is horribly weak – but the state of his stomach tells him it’ll come right back up. He can barely keep the water down as it is. “Few days ago,” Shiro murmurs, too drained to come up with a reassuring half-lie. “Can’t keep anything down.”

 

Keith frowns deeply. “Okay,” he says, letting it drop. “But as soon as we get to the Castle, we’re getting you something you can.”

 

Allura nods. “We’ll be home soon enough,” she says, and though she has no way of knowing how long it will be, her words are reassuring nonetheless.

 

They continue making their way through the cave. They take another break a few hours later, and it repeats: Shiro sleeps with his head in Allura’s lap and Keith at his side, and he wakes from a nightmare with the two of them holding him. It’s familiar. He hates that it’s become familiar, that he relies on them so much, but he’s grateful beyond words.

 

Allura and Keith are watching over him when he wakes. He looks up at them, warmth and compassion and protectiveness reflected in their sky blue and midnight eyes. A smile traces his features.

 

They sit like that for a few moments, but then there’s movement in the corner of his eye and Shiro startles. His eyes widen as a form takes shape. “What’s wrong?” Keith asks, squeezing his hand.

 

“Behind you,” Shiro gasps, moving to sit up. He’s not sure he can trust his eyes, but when Keith spins around and curses, he knows it’s real. A hideous, massive creature scuttles towards them. It’s like a horrible three-way cross between a centipede, a pangolin, and a stag beetle, the worst features of each magnified tenfold.

 

Keith and Allura are at their feet in an instant, standing in front of Shiro. They’re not in their armour, though, and the only weapon they have between them is the blade Keith always carries.

 

Keith slashes at the creature, but nothing seems to get past its plated scales. Allura tries physical strikes, but her attacks don't seem to affect it either. It charges at Keith, knocking him flat on his back and pinning him down with its legs, and when Allura tries to help him, its monstrous jaws open wide and-

 

Shiro’s moving before he can fully register what’s happening. All he knows is that they’re in danger and they need him. He rushes forward, clumsy and uncoordinated but forward nonetheless, drawing the creature’s attention. The creature rears, its jaws snapping open and shut, and charges at him.

 

Shiro's seeing double, but he can’t miss. He activates his Galra arm and drives it deep into the creature’s body, the intense heat from his hand able to get past its defences. He strikes again and slices through. It’s enough. It stops moving.

 

Keith and Allura rush towards Shiro as he sinks to his knees, exhausted. The motion and the exertion and the smell of burnt flesh are enough to force the water he drank back up. They rub his back and help him sit, and they rest for a little while longer before carrying on.

 

A couple hours more and finally, finally, they reach the exit. They step outside and it’s almost dark out. The sun lies low along the horizon, but the sky is otherwise empty, devoid of any Galra ships. They’re quite a ways away from the city, away from the jungle, away from anything, really.

 

Allura contacts Coran. He tracks their coordinates and tells them to sit tight – someone will be there to come get them shortly. The three of them wait at the mouth of the cave, and as they rest, they take up the positions that have become routine.

 

-v-V-v-

 

After a while, a pod flies down and Lance steps out. He opens his mouth to make some sort of grand entrance, but he sees them, sees Shiro, and the words die on his lips. He doesn’t even comment on the fact that Shiro’s head rests in Allura’s lap. “Holy quiznak, Shiro. You look like death warmed over,” he says.

 

Shiro manages a weak smile. "I'll be fine. Glad you're here."

 

Allura helps Shiro up and Keith races to the pod, jumping into the pilot’s seat. “Hey!” Lance protests.

 

“Shiro’s sick. There’s no way you’re flying,” Keith says flatly.

 

“ _Excuse_ me?”

 

The two of them start bickering, and Shiro presses a hand to his temple. “You guys.” His headache is bad enough as it is. Their mouths shut instantly.

 

“…Fine,” Lance relents, and silently, Shiro is grateful.

 

Keith flies the pod back to the Castle. He’s careful, making the trip as smooth as possible. It still unsettles Shiro’s stomach, but it could be much worse. They pass by planets and asteroids and space debris until they reach the neighbouring solar system where Coran had brought the Castle so as to avoid detection by the Galra.

 

Keith lands the pod in the hangar and they bring Shiro, dizzy and exhausted, straight to his room and into bed. It’s all a little hazy, but Lance is telling them that he’s heading out again – he’s got to go back to Rieb to assist Pidge and Hunk. “They’re not in any trouble, don’t worry,” Lance reassures them.

 

“You should… bring Keith. Backup,” Shiro murmurs.

 

“Nah. He’ll just get in the way,” Lance says. Keith glowers at him, but Lance grins, raising his hands. He obviously meant to word it that way, but he clarifies, “We’ve got a plan, and we need to be covert. Any more people will raise suspicion. But don’t worry – we’ve got this.”

 

Shiro knows that as a leader he needs to show he believes in them, and besides, his head is too muddled to strategize. So he just looks to Allura, and she nods.

 

“You’ll tell us, of course, if anything goes wrong,” she says, and Lance nods.

 

“You too,” he says. He glances at Shiro. “Feel better soon, alright? We won’t take too long,” he says, and then he heads out, making his way to the Blue Lion.

 

Allura sits at the edge of Shiro’s bed. “They’ll be fine,” she reassures him. Then she takes his hands and says, “It’s been a long day. You can rest now.” And so he does.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Allura holds him as he wakes from another nightmare. They’re all a blur and he can’t tell what happens in them anymore, but he knows that he’s scared and he knows that her presence helps.

 

His hand feels empty, though, and he wonders where Keith is. He must have said that out loud, because Allura tells him he’s in the kitchen, and once he’s calmed down, she leaves to go get him. “I’ll be right back,” she says, pressing her lips to his forehead.

 

She comes back soon with Keith in tow, who's holding a bowl in his hands. He brings it to Shiro, and Shiro realizes it’s some sort of broth.

 

“You made this?” Shiro asks, and Keith nods.

 

“I asked Hunk about the ingredients,” he says, his voice a little uncertain. “Hope it’s okay.”

 

“It’s quite good,” Allura smiles, reassuring Keith as she helps Shiro to sit up. “Though it’s quite unlike any Altean dish.”

 

Keith nods and his lips quirk upward. Not tasting like Altean food is a good thing.

 

“Thank you,” Shiro says earnestly, and he brings the bowl to his lips.

 

He was ready to stomach whatever Keith made with a smile, but he’s pleasantly surprised. It’s simple and not too heavy, and it actually tastes a bit like kenchinjiru. It reminds him of home - his former home, anyway. He doesn’t know when he’ll return to Earth, if ever. He’s accepted that he’s probably going to die out here. He’s not sure where home is anymore.

 

“This is really great, Keith,” Shiro says, a genuine smile on his lips. “Thank you,” he repeats.

 

Keith tries and fails to suppress a beam. Shiro takes a few more sips, letting the warmth flood his body.

 

For the first time in days, Shiro’s stomach settles.

 

-v-V-v-

 

Shiro spends the next few days mostly asleep. Keith and Allura continue to watch over him. They take turns sometimes, but usually both of them are there. They read, or catch up on work, or talk in hushed tones as he sleeps, but they don’t leave. He never wakes up alone.

 

Keith does whatever he can to help, bringing him meals and water and helping him to the bathroom. He stays quiet, focusing more on practical, physical ways he can help, but he has a warm, solid presence that fills the room.

 

Allura keeps him entertained in the hours he’s awake. She tells him all about Altea – its culture, its history. Sometimes it’s hard to focus and the words float over him, but her voice never ceases to soothe him.

 

Days go by, and slowly but surely, Shiro’s symptoms remit. His fever breaks. The nausea diminishes, and the world doesn’t spin every time he opens his eyes. The pounding in his head subsides, and his muscles stop aching. He doesn’t feel quite so weak anymore, slowly regaining his strength.

 

Still, even though they don’t need to be there, Keith and Allura stay. They’re there with him. And when he wakes from his nightmares with their hands entwined in his own, he knows definitively that this is home.


End file.
